Sunday, October 19, 2008

Entire Class of Massage Students ABDUCTED!! Alien spaceship seen over massage school!


Sunday. October 19th. 7:30 pm. The last day of student clinic was winding to a close. The clinic had been successful one and the students were proud of themselves. The clients had come in the door tense and left relaxed. I thought everything was going well.....until the next day, that is.

Monday. October 20th. 9:12 am. No one had shown up for class yet. It wasn't like them to be late, except for Little Red. He burst in the door. "They've ....... all ....... been ...... TAKEN!" he stammered between labored breaths.

"What? Who? Who's been taken?", I asked.

Again the answer came between ragged breaths, "My ...... classmates ......... and ......... they ........ almost ........ got ........ me."

Monday. October 20th. 9:16 am. I turned it over and over in my head. Who could have abducted an entire class of massage students? The Mafia? Aliens? The FBI? The NSA? The military? The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?

"NO!!!!!" Screamed Little Red, catching his breath at last after the long run across the parking lot, "it was the ..... the ..... the ..... CLIENTS!!!"

Oh my, I had heard comments all last week from clients stating that they wanted to take their student therapists home with them, but I did not think it would lead to this.

I called 911 and waited for what seemed like an eternity when the black and white pulled up with two of Lake Charles' finest. "Good morning, ma'am, what seems to be the problem?"

"An entire class of students has been abducted by their clients from last week's student clinic," I explained. The two officers exchanged nervous glances. "Why would anyone kidnap an entire class of massage students? What motive could they possibly have?" the taller officer asked.

"Obviously, you two have never had a massage. Little Red, give the officers a quick chair massage." Twenty minutes later, the officers had a better understanding of the situation. "Ms. Salvo, we're taking Mr. Red down to the station for further ....... uh ...... questioning. We'll get back to you when we finish our investigation." I never heard from Little Red again, but crime in our town is down 20% and our city's police officers look more refreshed than ever.

I guess abduction (alien or not) is just one of the everyday job hazards in our line of work.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Help! Help! Please.... we are contacting you via a cell signal that we intercepted through hacking into the alien ship food replicator in our prison quarters. We are being forced to do chair massage 20 hours a day for the aliens (whose backs compose 4/5 of their bodies!). They have surgically reinforced our wrists and thumbs with some kind of molten metal and they give us injections of starbucks coffee every two hours…the last person who was able to get a peak out of a portal said it looked like we were hovering over the water near the 210 bridge and that a alien pod had been deployed and looked like it was heading for the casino. We are so tired….please help! -LIMT Students